Raelyn Dawn
11/13/13
7 lbs 2 oz
20 inches long 13 inch head
I am really excited to share my story because it is a very happy one and an amazing experience and exactly what I wanted for this birth. Ever since I decided I wanted to do this at home I have been counting down the days. I have done lots of research and hired wonderful people to help me achieve this goal.
It started one week before when I thought I was having contractions and was sure that the baby was coming. I texted my Doula and called my midwife in the middle of the night and told them all that it had started. We set up the tub and realized that we didn't have a birth tub liner. We couldn't fill it without it. I was getting anxious because I did not feel ready and very frantic. I called my mom and said she should come in the morning because she should be coming soon.
Shortly after the contractions had slowed and I thought I should get some sleep. We all slept in the living room and was waiting for things to progress. When I woke up they were very far apart and I knew that it wasn't coming that day. I called everyone and told them false alarm. It was a relief and discouraging at the same time because I wanted this to be over. She dropped and was engaged for weeks and my joints were getting swollen from holding her up. Doing anything at all was very painful and couldn't get comfortable.
My midwife Kat told me it was important that we see where my hemoglobin levels were at because it was important for the birth. We knew they were low after my blood test and so she has me taking iron, chlorophyll and black strap molasses. I thought I was doing well so when I took the test it was shocking to find out I had dropped a whole number. I called my midwife with the results and she was shocked too and said with those numbers you are not able to do a home birth. She said I could possible bleed too much and we can't risk that at home. It was very shocking because I did not know that it was so important and I felt like I had done a lot of work to try to keep it up and it was all for nothing. It was very emotional and devastating. My family has not been very supportive and thought what we are doing is dangerous so we got a lot of calls saying this was better anyway because hospital is best and "safer." It was not what I wanted to hear because to me this was all about where I felt safer to give birth.
I really believe that the baby stopped coming and was warning me I wasn't ready to give birth, and so we did what we needed to make it happen.
We prayed a lot. I asked for guidance to make the right decisions for my family and to do it the safest way wherever it needed to be. We talked to Kat the next day and she was confident that we could get the levels up fast so she gave us lots of options to raise it, including eating liver. I started to take a very strong iron supplement and it made me throw up, but I have never been so determined to get it done and Cody was a great supporter and made all my meals and made sure that I was getting what I needed. He really stepped up and showed me how he was in it with me and he was going to do what was needed.
We took two more blood tests and they both said that we were at a level a lot higher than we thought and it was the final decision up to Kat if she was going to allow us to do it at home. She came to our house and discussed our options. She said that she was going to leave the decision up to us. She said it could be done but we needed to take extra precautions and be ready to go to hospital if we needed. We all agreed we were going to try it. I felt really good about that decision.
I had contractions during the night that were pretty strong and I woke up Cody and said you need to get your things done early because this baby is coming today. I woke up and they started to slow again. I was really discouraged then because I had already had a false alarm. I was having a contraction about every hour and when I felt a good one I was really excited. It was a welcoming pain. That evening I decided we should walk to the park to get things going because I knew it had started. When we got back they started to get stronger and more uncomfortable so I decided we should call Kat to come check me out and then Cody really stepped up. He packed a overnight bags for the kids and shipped my mom and them off to his parents, he cleaned the living room and set up the tub in record time and I was relaxed knowing things were being taken care of.
Kat got there and I was in a lot of pain and when she checked me she said you are only at a 2 centimeters and she was going to come back later because it could be a long while. She said to call when the water broke or when contractions started getting very strong. She stayed for about an hour watching the baby and she said the cord was around the neck and during a contraction while laying on your back she is not getting any oxygen so I needed to be in any position but on my back. (At the hospital the one position you can be in is on your back and she and I would have been more in danger at the hospital.)
She went home and shortly after my Massage Doula Becki arrived and I got in the tub to labor for a while. She is in school to become a Doula and this was her very first time witnessing a home birth. I have known her for a while and I have always felt really comfortable with her and she is a great person. While I was in the tub she was leaning over and massaging my back during contractions and it made them so much more bearable. And being massaged between contractions was great too because you got to relax and get a break in between. I don't know how anyone could labor without being massaged it was the best thing. After about an hour in the tub I decided to get out and go to the bathroom so I wasn't in there so long. Part of the mucus plug came out and it was exciting because we knew things were progressing. And then more came out in the tub.
Right after that happened the contractions were getting really strong and I was beginning to doubt myself and kind of scared but then Cody was there just saying "You can do this Katie your almost there."
Then my water broke and immediately Cody calls Kat and she said she was on her way.
I was so focused on myself that I forgot that we even needed to call our midwife.
So then the contractions started to change and they felt different, they were painful but they were pushing the baby down. It was like my body was doing all the work. And the only way I can explain it is it felt like my body turned into an animal and my instincts kicked in. There was no more thinking and it was all my body. After each contractions there was a big relief and it was a good feeling because I knew the baby was coming. I told Becki I think its almost here and she said you can check if you want. So I checked down there and I put my finger up about 1 cm and felt a hard head just waiting to come. It gave me a bunch of strength to know that it was minutes away to holding her. Cody calls Kat and says are you almost here the baby is coming now. She said I am about 10 minutes so talk me through whats happening.
I said I need to push so she said to do just that. I pushed all my might and with that push her head just slides right out! I can feel her soft squishy head and Kat said on the next contraction push so hard so we get that baby out. Cody said that the baby opened her eyes and looked around for a minute and then closed her eyes. The next contraction didn't come for another two minutes and Cody said that it had made him nervous. But I needed that time to rest and the next one came and I pushed and out she came. Cody pulled her out of the water and the Doula and Cody were passing her back and forth unwrapping the cord. They wrapped her up and sucked out anything that was in her throat but she was absolutely perfect.
On the inside I was kind of laughing at them because I was so much at peace and relaxed and knew everything was great while they were wondering what to do with this tiny little person. I got out of the tub still attached to the baby and we laid on the ground with her on my stomach for a few minutes until Kat got there. Then Margo the other midwife got there shortly after.
She was watching my bleeding and checked out the baby and everything was fine. After a few minutes she said "I am sorry Katie but your bleeding doesn't look like its clotting like it should. It is not an emergency but we should work on getting you to the hospital to get some pitocin to stop the bleeding." After she said it I felt like I knew that wasn't going to happen, but I said okay whatever we need. Cody started packing a bag for me to go and Kat said "I know you are religious would you like to say a prayer?" duh! why didn't I think of that? I told Cody to give me a blessing and not even five minutes later my bleeding had stopped. She said we don't have to go after all. The mood changed in the room and there was light and so much peace. I remember how it was so incredibly quiet.
Nursing and cutting the cord
Looking for food
After I fed her she checked and weighed her. She did not cry at all and she had her eyes wide open and she was looking all over the room at everyone and she was so content. The spirit was so strong and everyone talked about how they didn't want to leave because it was so peaceful. My guardian angels were there comforting me and everyone there.
Becki Massage Doula
Kat the Midwife
They helped me get into bed and everything was great. That night was a bonding experience for Cody and I. We were both amazed at what the other person had accomplished. Even though I was the one that gave birth, Cody stayed really strong and he made sure that I was taken care of and it was having him there and his support that helped me get through it. We didn't get much sleep but we just relaxed and enjoyed having that baby.
One of my fears of the hospital was them giving me an episiotomy. My midwife told me I was very likely to tear because of my previous scar tissue. but she knew ways to help stretch during birth and try to help as much as possible. because she wasn't there and it happened so fast that I did tear naturally and got it stitched and it has felt better than any of the other times. The frustrating part is that I probably would have never torn if it wasn't for my previous experiences.
The next morning we got a lot of calls from certain people and unfortunately some were good and some were bad. The people that didn't talk to us about our home birth all year felt they had to share what they felt afterwards. That they thought it was irresponsible and told us what we should have done differently. Especially the people that still had not done any research or have any valid opinions. Everyone is relieved that it went well because it "could have gone wrong."
Some were upset that our team didn't get there and asked if we were upset that we did it on our own.
I am more than happy with how it turned out. I think that Raelyn wanted a more personal intimate birth and I was more relaxed with just people surrounding me that kept me relaxed and I actually think that they midwife came when she was needed. I am so grateful to Kat, Margo, and Becki because together they made this such a great experience.
I have birthed in the hospital and at home and my preference is at home. I am so grateful to have hospitals and they certainly have a purpose. It is for the sick and injured. If I get in a car wreck you had better take me to the hospital.
People have also told me that I am "brave" or so strong to do it at home. I do not feel that way, I think women who birth in the hospital are brave because their chances for unnecessary interventions increase and are not always in the best interest of mama and baby. When I was in the hospital I was more stressed and scared and did not have coaching through the process and understanding that you body is doing what is natural and meant to do. When you are tense and scared the pain intensifies. Also laying on your back is extremely uncomfortable and painful. Being in the water and getting massaged, being in any position, and coaching through each contraction with breathing techniques and so much support and love, was so much easier and such a rewarding experience at the end.
It was definitely hard to not have family to encourage me and be proud of my decision but we did it alone and we are okay with that because it was amazing.
I am extremely proud of what we have accomplished and very few people get to experience this. I am glad to add another success story to the statistics of home birthing because it is very misunderstood. I hope that I can help to open eyes of others that this is just one option of giving birth even if its not your choice.
I can not stop dreaming about the experience and it will be one I will never forget.
