I am writing about this because I am very passionate about it and I know there are going to be friends and family who have their opinions about this and going to talk me out of it.
but family before you do I want you to understand why I am chosing this option.
Zion's birth
I wanted to do a home birth with Zion but Cody wasn't comfortable with it and when I looked into cost our insurance wouldn't touch it and so I decided to do a hospital birth and see how it went.
I got an epidural and everything was fine until the doctor came in and I pushed a few times. There were nurses coming in and telling the Doc he was needed in another room. I wasn't close to giving birth so without much warning he gave me an episiotomy that was so severe and it was swollen when he stitched it up. it was very quick and he left. I had to have a catheter to go to the bathroom because I was so swollen for the first 24 hours. after about 3 months of not healing I went back to the doctor and told them I was still in severe pain. The doc told me I just needed to be patient and needed more time and sent me home. two months later I called again and they didn't try to get me in because they said I didn't need any more prenatal care.
While I was in Utah visiting, I spoke with a midwife about my situation and she said she would be willing to look at it. when she did she saw that it was beyond something that she could fix so she asked a retired doctor if he would perform my surgery. He was an angel sent from heaven and he fixed my problem and I felt better in about 3 weeks.I later found out that I was a victim of feminine mutilation and they had no right to do that to me at the time. I was very upset.
It was then I lost more respect for doctors and had trust issues.
Sage's Birth
I was so terrified to give birth because of my traumatic experience with Zion's birth. I explained to my doctors my fear and they said that they only do episiotomies if necessary. (it is never necessary) I again looked into home births and found out that there are no birth centers in las vegas and only certain doctors will do water births in the hospital and it seemed to impossible for me to get. so I just did what the doctors said again for the second time. I felt more confident because I had already done it. I was hoping to do it without an epidural because I know of the harmful affects it can have with certain women and babies.
when I got to the hospital I was progressively in labor and the nurses neglected me for a long time. by the time they got me into a room I was far into labor and I was very scared of the pain and my adrenaline kicked in and started shaking. they told me it was my body not handling the pain and got the anasthegiologist. I was having contractions on top of each other when he came and his exact words were. "Do you want this epidural or not." I was treated like a nuisance and taking too much of his time. the nurses said they "lied" and told him I wasn't as far along as I was so I could get the epidural. I was about an 8 centimenters dialated and I was almost ready to give birth. Cody said he was going to find a dr. pepper.
as soon as he left the machines went off and I knew the baby was in distress. nurses rushed in and gave me oxygen and laid me on my side. the epidural was not working yet and I was in a lot of pain. one of the nurses said to me,"you're not breathing deep enough" I told her I was breathing through the pain, and no one in the room believed I was in pain. I felt sage drop down and I said I had to push, they told me to not push until the doctor came. they had not even told the doctor I was ready so I had to wait 20 minutes of "holding it in" while my body was doing everything to get the baby out. it went by so fast and Cody barely made it back on time for the birth. I pushed a total of 3 times and she was out when the doctor came. and if course gave me another unnecessary episiotomy.
I later found out that when I had my adrenaline it was not because I couldn't handle the pain but its a natural response to help your body cope with the pain. instead of an epidural I should have had moral support and told that I was very near to the end. and I know for certain that the problems in the end was strictly because of the epidural and it caused trauma to the baby.
after having Sage I was absolutely certain that doctors were not in my best interest and they never allowed my body to give birth the way it is supposed to. Some doctors give pitocin and break water to "speed things up." and what I want to know is what is the rush? babies can come early or come two weeks late and it always what the mother and baby need. I found a documentary called "the business of being born." and before any of you try to talk me out of doing a home birth please watch this first so you are slightly more educated. There is also another one about "hospital, birth center, home birth" that tells you about each one and how they are different.
I finally talked Cody into speaking with a midwife to make an educated decision about this pregnancy and birth. I contacted Kathya and she came over the same day for a free consultation and answered all our questions. she is board certified and she has a long list of education in midwifery and naturopathy. I am extremely comfortable with her. when I found out I was pregnant I was terrified again and was having nightmares about giving birth. After speaking with Kathya I am so excited to give birth and I want so desperately to be in control of my birth experience and to take as long as I want, push when I want, and I want to even be able to catch my own baby. Giving birth is not a medical condition and should be treated as as natural as everything else humans do.
so now,
those of you who think it is "dangerous." I can answer most questions but my midwife can answer everything. The caretaker I am seeing is doing exactly what a nurse would do when I go to the doctors office. she has taken blood work and checks all vitals and heartbeat when she comes to my home once a month. She is very thorough throughout the pregnancy to make sure that I am a healthy candidate for home birth. if at any time during pregnancy or labor if she believes there are going to be problems she will allow and go with us to the hospital. I found out about 12% of home births turn emergency and about 60% of hospital births are C section. I don't remember where I got these statistics but I know they are fairly accurate and in las vegas alone 70% are C section. and more often than not when there is an emergency it is a result of neglect during the pregnancy and not because of an accident.
the problem of bleeding to death during pregnancy is the most common concern. the doctors don't check hemoglobin during the pregnancy and so they just have blood ready for transfusion instead of preventing from the body of bleeding in the first place. my midwife has promised to take precaution of my hemoglobin and if in an instance of my uterus bleeding she has herbs that have proven to effectively stop bleeding quickly.
also I know you will have concerns because of the woman who died giving birth in utah to her 6th baby. the reason why she died was because she has 6 C sections which is very dangerous, and something had gone wrong 3 weeks before surgery and they had her in the hospital. it is very unfortunate for their family and I think it is partly because of medical malpractice.
in case of the baby having stress she is certified in neonatal resusitation which is the same as nurses in the hospital. she said she has never had to do it because all babies are birthed naturally and do not have stress and are fully developed. it is the babies in the hospital that are induced early that have more problems because they aren't as developed and they were not ready to be out.
the equipment she will be using will be exactly the same as a birthing center at the hospital. the only difference will be no place to perform surgery. I will be buying all of the sheets and tubing in packages and everything will be sterile and a safe environment for us. I will be renting a tub for a water birth which will be completely sanitized and toxic safe lining.
I have done much research about this and I am not making a rash decision. I am very comfortable and excited about this decision. I am fully confident in my midwife and I know that she will take care of me and baby in whatever circumstance that comes. but I am a good candidate because I had two vaginal births with no problems. (other than the parts I told you)
so that is what I have chosen and you will not convince me otherwise but if you have questions or concerns about what I am doing you are welcome to call me and talk to me about it. I think the hardest part of all of this will be very little moral support from family and I am writing this to give you some background before I need to defend myself.
love you all!
