Uinta Mountains Oct 2014

Every post I always say...."I need to get around to blogging more." and again...I hate blogging because computers are not my friend. but I will post about our hike to the Uintas because it was a long drive and very beautiful up there and it is worth sharing. I live-eat-breathe for mountains and I feel like I am trapped if I do not get to be elevated. It is so important for me I can't even describe it. I am so happy to be back in my element and have lots of adventures with the kids in Utah. When we moved here I spent money on camelbaks, hiking shoes, a baby carrier, and all the essentials for adventuring. I plan on getting a huge collection and force my kids to go. Although I don't have to because they love the mountains just as much as me. We have drug them through hot Zion national Park hikes and freezing hikes and they are always good sports and never complain.

I was trying to go to a lake called Dean's Lake that I went to in High School but I had no idea where it was and I think it is a couple hour hike. So I googled easy hikes for kids in the Uintas and everyone said that Ruth Lake was an easy fast hike to a great lake. 

So I packed lunches and off we went. We got a little lost at first because it's been a while since I've been there but we found the canyon and we got to drive a long long way until we got to Ruth lake. We got to enjoy all the gorgeous fall trees and colors and then when we didn't see anything but pines and snow I knew we were going to be high up. we had a few jackets and hats in the car so fortunately we were some what warm. 

When we got to the lake it was so fun but very quickly turned freezing cold and had to run back down. I was holding Raelyn close to me for warmth because I was so worried about her but as I was running down the hill the bouncing must have been relaxing because she fell asleep. I wasn't trying to be careful at all, but she dozed right off. 

We got some good pics and good times and drove home. We knew we wouldn't make it before dark through the canyon so we stopped in heber at a little cafe and got some soup and scones. It was a good day and I hope that we have many more like that. We left all the other stuff behind and for a couple hours we had nothing to worry about but getting up and back down the mountain. Things have changed since we have had kids, and at times I feel like my life is over. No boarding, no long hiking trips, no camping or traveling anymore. It is only a very short while that they are tiny and pretty soon they are hiking along side you and you can teach them. Soon you realize they are wiser than you and you need to learn from them. It is quite an adventure. 

Zion Hiking Trip

I am trying to blog more and will eventually get around to it but I will share with you our Zion trip.

Cody goes Turkey hunting every year and I don't think its fair. If I want to go do anything I have to drag 3 rug rats with me with one on my boob 8 hours a day and I don't get to "get away." So I have always told Cody that I don't mind if he hunts as long as he takes the family camping throughout the year. He still hasn't done that but now that we are living in Utah I am going to make everyone hike/camp whether they like it or not.

Cody's friend from Vegas and his dad were going to Zion Canyon and he wanted to take the opportunity to see them. We left Thursday and stopped to fish for a couple hours. It was a bad time of the day and we didn't catch anything.

we got to the camp late and it was getting dark. Both the kids were getting scared and Zion was asking about bears and giant skunks getting us. Then it got Sage scared. Cody is trying to put up the tent and I am building a fire with one hand and Holding Rae in the other hand. We are trying to make hot dogs and chili and everything is just going wrong and the kids are screaming. Our propane light wasn't working, and our flashlight we got the wrong batteries. Then we went to play a movie for the kids with our new laptop and realized it doesn't have a CD/DVD spot. We finally get the kids to sleep and it is FREEZING. Cody said he was fine because he slept next to a dangerous propane heater.

 

 

The next morning we took the kids hiking on just a little trail but I was very impressed with both of them. Zion is a great little hiker and he wanted to go farther and farther. We finally had to turn back and Sage was a good sport until she got tired. then we had to carry her for a bit.

 

       Zion was named after this National Park

Zion National Park

 then we stopped at the river to cool and it was really pretty. We realized though the water was not flowing well. There will be a drought and we are planning on getting our water storage ready.

 

 

 

then we went to a couple fun little souvenir shops and got some ice cream.

We got back to camp and cooked some potato stew and relaxed and enjoyed the evening.

 

"Roughin It Rae"

 

view from our tent in the morning, I thought it was cool.

and SUPRISE Grandpa Blaine rought Great Grandpa Bushell's old 4 wheeler. We were excited to try it out. The kids weren't being very good so we drove around for a bit and them packed up our stuff.

 

Blaine said that he doesn't really have room, and he won't be driving the 4 wheeler in Las Vegas so he is letting us have it. I am so stoked because I have never owned a toy like that. It will be really fun to go cruising around the canyon with it every now and then. and I plan on buying a small trailer for our family to use because we will use it a lot. and bring along our little 4 wheeler to play on.

                                                        til next time....

There will be calmness after the storm

I decided to write in my blog because I don't remember when the last time I can say that my life has been HARD, and I just need to vent I think.
I had a  wonderful experiencing giving birth  to Rae Rae, Even though it was an unforgettable one it was very stressful. I am a hobbit always looking for the next adventure and Cody knew I was going to plan something. I tried to hold off until I couldn't any longer and told him it was time to move. He didn't like the idea at first, but the more things happened Cody realized that it was finally time to leave Las Vegas. That is usually how it goes with us. I am pulling and dragging him into big leaps but he is the one who always has the final say.
I was so happy that he agreed that we could move. I was a packing maniac. While cody was working away in Laughlin I was stressed because I would be alone with the three kids.
To pass the time I was constantly organizing, cleaning, and the house looked amazing when I was done. It was ready to show and we called our realtor who is our dad's friend who did real estate in Utah. It was exciting to find a realtor that was perfect for us at the perfect time. We had the goal of getting our house sold by spring, so she gave us suggestions to work in the house to make it sellable. We decided to put it on the market and that same day we got our first offer, and it was a full price.
I didn't think it would take long but that quick was amazing. She also said she was willing to pay full price if we were willing to move out quickly, as soon as the day of closing. That panicked us and we countered with five days after closing. So as of right now we have until March 5 to move.
Cody tells me that he can see two more weeks of work in Laughlin. I did not want to be alone for that long so I decided to drive up with the three kiddos to utah to spend time with my family and also look for a house to rent. It was supposed to be a happy time of laughter and friends, and then the kids got sick.
The kids have been getting sniffles all summer but this was full blown flu with throwing up and croup cough. I was up all night with Zion, then sage, then zion again, then sage, then raelyn got a stuffy nose, and them ME. I cleaned up lots of throw up. I think the last time I got the flu was when I was pregnant with Sage, and don't remember the time before that, maybe even in high school. And all during this time of all of us sick I went and looked for houses to rent, and also signing and emailing papers long distance to our realtor. And trying to keep up on my knitting and shirt orders.
It was kind of discouraging after the first week when I couldn't find many houses to rent with dogs. I started calling houses and asked if they would allow dogs and they would yell NO. I saw a few that were either too dumpy, too far away, not a fenced backyard for Rosco, too pricy, rooms were so awkward and small that I didn't know where I was going to put my kitchen table, or if my mattress would even fit. Then the second week I was ready to live in a trailor park because there was just no where. I asked Cody if he was willing to have his dad babysit Ross so we could have a place to live and he said out of the question.
By the end of the two weeks I was so exhausted and living out of a suitcase with three kids was extremely frustrating. During that time other family members were also going to life changing and hard situations as well so it all added to it.
We drove home without any houses lined up and joking about being homeless and I should start putting holes in my clothes or shop at A&F to fit the part. I knew I wouldn't because I have lots of family who is willing to help us, but it would be frustrating trying to live somewhere for a while until we found a place. It was a humbling experience for me because it wasn't going as smoothly as I thought, and I had to be willing to take what comes.
I had my sister in law go see a house for me in American Fork and we were anxious to get in there. We had many phone interviews and applications and credit checks, and we still haven't heard back from them.
We have already been denied by three other landlords. It was like getting an slap in the face every time. I was thinking why are we not getting into anywhere? We aren't that bad of people that they wouldn't want to rent to us.
Then I realized that we have three kids and a dog. We are moving out of state so they can't meet us. Our credit is bad, but if it was good we wouldn't have this problem we would just buy a house. Cody doesn't have a job in utah yet because he is working here in vegas. I tried to explain that we will make equity on our home and will have enough to live until he gets a job. So it sounds as though we would not be able to pay rent. I was even bribing people with three months rent in advance. As of today, Still nothing.
When we got home the kids were so excited to see Cody and they were running around the house looking for him and it broke my heart. Cody calls and says that he thinks there is another couple of days of work. I said we all need to see you. He drove until midnight to come and see us for a couple hours in the morning Sunday. but he was so exhausted he slept that day and went back to work in the afternoon. I could tell he was so beat from working and it worried me a little that he was working with a lot of stress and horrible hours sometimes til 2 in the morning. He kept saying he was going to push through it and I was just trying to support him. Tuesday morning he says, you need to come get me I can't do it anymore. I was excited to hear that but was stressed on how I was going to come get him with all the kids. Bless my dad he drove me and raelyn while my mom watched zion and sage and picked him up at 10 and got home at midnight.
It was relieving that at least he was home and we would be able to move on the next step, but we haven't heard back from the appraisal and that is so stressful because this could determine if we would lose the sale or not. It isn't over until we have that money in our hands.
We don't want to start to move until we know that this person is going to follow through. When I make decisions I usually am very confident and have to convince everyone around me that it was a good one. This time I am kind of questioning it now that it isn't going as I planned. I am just praying everyday that I am just able to handle what comes and just have a roof over our heads and kids fed. Cody is fixing all the things that the inspection came back with but still just waiting on everything else and time is going by so slow.
If the sale goes through and we have a little longer in the house that solves the problem of having a place to live, but then our financial situation will be even scarier. We are becoming more dependent on that money from selling. 
 I'm not sure if the kids got sick again or if its still just lingering but they still aren't better. I know I just need to focus on them right now because they are going through this with us. I also just feel really selfish because I have been so focused on all the bad things that I am not seeing that I am not being grateful for all the help we have had. and I have neglected my church duties and feeling I need some spiritual uplifting.
I keep telling myself that this is all happening for a reason, that there is lessons to be learned and it will all be great in the end. Before all great things there is chaos before it. Hopefully we will have lots of great news soon.
We are waiting for our calmness after the storm.

Raelyn's Birth Story

Raelyn Dawn

11/13/13

7 lbs 2 oz

20 inches long 13 inch head

I am really excited to share my story because it is a very happy one and an amazing experience and exactly what I wanted for this birth. Ever since I decided I wanted to do this at home I have been counting down the days. I have done lots of research and hired wonderful people to help me achieve this goal.

It started one week before when I thought I was having contractions and was sure that the baby was coming.  I texted my Doula and called my midwife in the middle of the night and told them all that it had started. We set up the tub and realized that we didn't have a birth tub liner. We couldn't fill it without it. I was getting anxious because I did not feel ready and very frantic. I called my mom and said she should come in the morning because she should be coming soon.
Shortly after the contractions had slowed and I thought I should get some sleep. We all slept in the living room and was waiting for things to progress. When I woke up they were very far apart and I knew that it wasn't coming that day. I called everyone and told them false alarm. It was a relief and discouraging at the same time because I wanted this to be over. She dropped and was engaged for weeks and my joints were getting swollen from holding her up. Doing anything at all was very painful and couldn't get comfortable. 

My midwife Kat told me it was important that we see where my hemoglobin levels were at because it was important for the birth. We knew they were low after my blood test and so she has me taking iron, chlorophyll and black strap molasses. I thought I was doing well so when I took the test it was shocking to find out I had dropped a whole number. I called my midwife with the results and she was shocked too and said with those numbers you are not able to do a home birth. She said I could possible bleed too much and we can't risk that at home. It was very shocking because I did not know that it was so important and I felt like I had done a lot of work to try to keep it up and it was all for nothing. It was very emotional and  devastating. My family has not been very supportive and thought what we are doing is dangerous so we got a lot of calls saying this was better anyway because hospital is best and "safer." It was not what I wanted to hear because to me this was all about where I felt safer to give birth.
I really believe that the baby stopped coming and was warning me I wasn't ready to give birth, and so we did what we needed to make it happen.

We prayed a lot. I asked for guidance to make the right decisions for my family and to do it the safest way wherever it needed to be. We talked to Kat the next day and she was confident that we could get the levels up fast so she gave us lots of options to raise it, including eating liver. I started to take a very strong iron supplement and it made me throw up, but I have never been so determined to get it done and Cody was a great supporter and made all my meals and made sure that I was getting what I needed. He really stepped up and showed me how he was in it with me and he was going to do what was needed.

We took two more blood tests and they both said that we were at a level a lot higher than we thought and it was the final decision up to Kat if she was going to allow us to do it at home. She came to our house and discussed our options. She said that she was going to leave the decision up to us. She said it could be done but we needed to take extra precautions and be ready to go to hospital if we needed. We all agreed we were going to try it. I felt really good about that decision.

 I had contractions during the night that were pretty strong and I woke up Cody and said you need to get your things done early because this baby is coming today. I woke up and they started to slow again. I was really discouraged then because I had already had a false alarm. I was having a contraction about every hour and when I felt a good one I was really excited. It was a welcoming pain. That evening I decided we should walk to the park to get things going because I knew it had started. When we got back they started to get stronger and more uncomfortable so I decided we should call Kat to come check me out and then Cody really stepped up. He packed a overnight bags for the kids and shipped my mom and them off to his parents, he cleaned the living room and set up the tub in record time and I was relaxed knowing things were being taken care of.

Kat got there and I was in a lot of pain and when she checked me she said you are only at a 2 centimeters and she was going to come back later because it could be a long while. She said to call when the water broke or when contractions started getting very strong. She stayed for about an hour watching the baby and she said the cord was around the neck and during a contraction while laying on your back she is not getting any oxygen so I needed to be in any position but on my back. (At the hospital the one position you can be in is on your back and she and I would have been more in danger at the hospital.)

She went home and shortly after my Massage Doula Becki arrived and I got in the tub to labor for a while. She is in school to become a Doula and this was her very first time witnessing a home birth. I have known her for a while and I have always felt really comfortable with her and she is a great person. While I was in the tub she was leaning over and massaging my back during contractions and it made them so much more bearable. And being massaged between contractions was great too because you got to relax and get a break in between. I don't know how anyone could labor without being massaged it was the best thing. After about an hour in the tub I decided to get out and go to the bathroom so I wasn't in there so long. Part of the mucus plug came out and it was exciting because we knew things were progressing. And then more came out in the tub.

Right after that happened the contractions were getting really strong and I was beginning to doubt myself and kind of scared but then Cody was there just saying "You can do this Katie your almost there."
Then my water broke and immediately Cody calls Kat and she said she was on her way.
I was so focused on myself that I forgot that we even needed to call our midwife. 
So then the contractions started to change and they felt different, they were painful but they were pushing the baby down. It was like my body was doing all the work. And the only way I can explain it is it felt like my body turned into an animal and my instincts kicked in. There was no more thinking and it was all my body. After each contractions there was a big relief and it was a good feeling because I knew the baby was coming. I told Becki I think its almost here and she said you can check if you want. So I checked down there and I put my finger up about 1 cm and felt a hard head just waiting to come. It gave me a bunch of strength to know that it was minutes away to holding her. Cody calls Kat and says are you almost here the baby is coming now. She said I am about 10 minutes so talk me through whats happening.

I said I need to push so she said to do just that. I pushed all my might and with that push her head just slides right out! I can feel her soft squishy head and Kat said on the next contraction push so hard so we get that baby out. Cody said that the baby opened her eyes and looked around for a minute and then closed her eyes. The next contraction didn't come for another two minutes and Cody said that it had made him nervous. But I needed that time to rest and the next one came and I pushed and out she came. Cody pulled her out of the water and the Doula and Cody were passing her back and forth unwrapping the cord. They wrapped her up and sucked out anything that was in her throat but she was absolutely perfect.
On the inside I was kind of laughing at them because I was so much at peace and relaxed and knew everything was great while they were wondering what to do with this tiny little person. I got out of the tub still attached to the baby and we laid on the ground with her on my stomach for a few minutes until Kat got there. Then  Margo the other midwife got there shortly after.

She was watching my bleeding and checked out the baby and everything was fine. After a few minutes she said "I am sorry Katie but your bleeding doesn't look like its clotting like it should. It is not an emergency but we should work on getting you to the hospital to get some pitocin to stop the bleeding." After she said it I felt like I knew that wasn't going to happen, but I said okay whatever we need. Cody started packing a bag for me to go and Kat said "I know you are religious would you like to say a prayer?"  duh! why didn't I think of that? I told Cody to give me a blessing and not even five minutes later my bleeding had stopped. She said we don't have to go after all. The mood changed in the room and there was light and so much peace. I remember how it was so incredibly quiet.

Nursing and cutting the cord 

 

Looking for food

After I fed her she checked and weighed her. She did not cry at all and she had her eyes wide open and she was looking all over the room at everyone and she was so content. The spirit was so strong and everyone talked about how they didn't want to leave because it was so peaceful. My guardian angels were there comforting me and everyone there.

 Becki Massage Doula

 Kat the Midwife

They helped me get into bed and everything was great. That night was a bonding experience for Cody and I. We were both amazed at what the other person had accomplished. Even though I was the one that gave birth, Cody stayed really strong and he made sure that I was taken care of and it was having him there and his support that helped me get through it. We didn't get much sleep but we just relaxed and enjoyed having that baby.

One of my fears of the hospital was them giving me an episiotomy. My midwife told me I was very likely to tear because of my previous scar tissue. but she knew ways to help stretch during birth and try to help as much as possible. because she wasn't there and it happened so fast that I did tear naturally and got it stitched and it has felt better than any of the other times. The frustrating part is that I probably would have never torn if it wasn't for my previous experiences. 

The next morning we got a lot of calls from certain people and unfortunately some were good and some were bad. The people that didn't talk to us about our home birth all year felt they had to share what they felt afterwards. That they thought it was irresponsible and told us what we should have done differently. Especially the people that still had not done any research or have any valid opinions. Everyone is relieved that it went well because it "could have gone wrong."
Some were upset that our team didn't get there and asked if we were upset that we did it on our own.
I am more than happy with how it turned out. I think that Raelyn wanted a more personal intimate birth and I was more relaxed with just people surrounding me that kept me relaxed and I actually think that they midwife came when she was needed. I am so grateful to Kat, Margo, and Becki because together they made this such a great experience.

I have birthed in the hospital and at home and my preference is at home. I am so grateful to have hospitals and they certainly have a purpose. It is for the sick and injured. If I get in a car wreck you had better take me to the hospital.

People have also told me that I am "brave" or so strong to do it at home. I do not feel that way, I think women who birth in the hospital are brave because their chances for unnecessary interventions increase and are not always in the best interest of mama and baby. When I was in the hospital I was more stressed and scared and did not have coaching through the process and understanding that you body is doing what is natural and meant to do. When you are tense and scared the pain intensifies. Also laying on your back is extremely uncomfortable and painful. Being in the water and getting massaged, being in any position, and coaching through each contraction with breathing techniques and so much support and love, was so much easier and such a rewarding experience at the end.
 It was definitely hard to not have family to encourage me and be proud of my decision but we did it alone and we are okay with that because it was amazing.

I am extremely proud of what we have accomplished and very few people get to experience this. I am glad to add another success story to the statistics of home birthing because it is very misunderstood. I hope that I can help to open eyes of others that this is just one option of giving birth even if its not your choice.
I can not stop dreaming about the experience and it will be one I will never forget.